Mutant Hot Chix

Splice (2010)

Even with its tacked-on ending, I thought Splice was a pretty good flick:
the best late-1970s David Cronenberg horror flick made in the last 10 years,
effectively combining/making tribute to many of David C’s themes:
frozen exteriors, sterile and chilly interiors, weirdness concerning the human body, new forms of sexuality,
and pure gross-out gnarliness.

For me, Splice actually got quite transgressive (incest-bestiality?), and went beyond shocks and gore.
I really got into the flick’s sense of “ick.”

Yes, the ending does feel like it’s been “tampered with” by one or all of the four studios that produced the film, and when you see Splice (and you should; it’s worth an eventual rental just to have an opinion),
you’ll be able to tell exactly when the beancounters cleared their throats and said,
“Hey, Mr. Director, we have a suggestion….”

But the insane thing is that during the course of this clichéd, almost generic ending, the flick gets even sicker and leads to an ending that’s very queasy.





Adrien Brody is not one of my faves (he’s awful in Argento’s Giallo, a flick that was already bad), but he’s good in Splice as the shmuck who’ll fuck anything,
but Splice is really Sarah Polley’s show:
She’s great as the genetic wizard
with serious mommy issues, a convincing, complex and conflicted character.

Polley’s presence in a genre flick--
whether horror, like the Dawn of the Dead remake,
or westerns, like The Claim--
means the movie will address socio-economic themes as well,
And it’s this combination of gore,
gross-outs, scares, nudity, socially relevant themes, and the filmmakers giving 100%
that makes Splice a damn good exploitation flick.

And kids, Splice teaches important lessons,
like:
Artificially created giant male penile-slugs are like Siamese fighting fish--
NEVER put them in a cage together!