Songs That Jebus’ Birthin’ Taught Us (Xmas comes early to Ivanlandia...)

The radio-waves are awash with Yuletide songs, and so many Xmas songs are so damn creepy:
Always trying too hard—
All that false cheer—
Methinks you doth protest too much—
All of which is fine with me.
I like the creep and “ick” factor of saccharine-sweet tunes—
A pack of lies like the song “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” is a hydrogen bomb of pent-up anxieties: How many unfortunates have suicided to that upbeat ditty? Thousands, I’d venture….
It's the most wonderful time of the year
With the kids jingle belling
And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer"
It's the most wonderful time of the year

Because of the subtext of sorrow, anger and madness that I perceive in them, I like many Xmas songs.
It’s just Xmas I don’t like.

Yep, this is the Ivanlandia Xmas post—a few weeks early, yes, but it’s either this or nothing. Get what you get and like it.