Here's a secret: The stench of bad perfume makes me crazy (and in a bad way)

ARGH! One of my co-workers here in Cubiclelandia (where I go to spy on Ivanlandia's friends and foes alike) wears the worst sort of sickly sweet old-lady-on-the-way-to-the-dirt-nap kind of perfume. Like an ICEPICK in the brain, I tell ya!

But how to tell her that her stink is something a crackwhore would wear? I gotta talk to my boss: he's infinitely more diplomatic and sensitive about these sort of intra-office hoo-hahs than me. Heck, I'm so dumb, I'm posting about this...

Even worse: it seems I'm the only one who can smell it. I asked everyone around her, and it's like none of them have a sense of smell. "Duhhhhhh, naw, I don't smell nothing..."

CHRIST ON A FUCKIN' CRUTCH!!! I smell it again! Her stink drives me bonkers! I wish I could throw her out the airlock toot fucking sweet! (Or jump out it myself...)