Tuesday, October 30, 2012

ATTENTION, FOLLOWERS & READERS—TAKE THE TEST!!! (One of Ghidrah’s Three Heads Commands You!)

Greetings Friends, Followers and Regular Readers of
The United Provinces of Ivanlandia!

My film-centered blog LERNER INTERNATIONAL, and Ivanlandia’s younger fraternal site, has posted its first “Film Test,”
the “Favorite That’s Not” Quiz—in other words, “your favorite film that’s not ____.”

(Illustrated with your favorite kaiju B-listers! Just like here! That’s Ghidrah saying “Hi” above!)

Please participate! It’s only a hyperlink away!
Looking forward to your answers!
Thank You!
Ivan of Ivanlandia

[More Japanese “man in monster suit” second-stringers below: Enjoy!]

Monday, October 29, 2012

Witches & Sorceresses—Part Two: The Psychic Eye of Hurricane Sandy Edition

Trapped inside by the insane weather (and paranoid overreaction by public figures)?
Then after you’re done enjoying this collection of supernatural sexiness and hellacious hotties,
you’d best make sure to check out—heck, bookmark and then follow LERNER INTERNATIONAL!
You’re stuck inside your concrete-reinforced shelter by a hurricane, what else are you going to do?
Visit today!

Now you can go enjoy the terrific temptresses….

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Horror Movie Posters (and A Pictorial Bribe for Chef Steve)

Dear Steve Albini,
As a big fan of your cooking blog, Mario Batali Voice—your advice about cooking pork was really helpful; adding apples to the pot was the secret ingredient as far as I’m concerned!—I’m horribly let down that your recipe output has diminished so much as of late, and your blog has only been updated twice since February, when a semi-regular posting schedule was maintained.  

Of course, I get it: You’ve got bills to pay, a full-time business to run, family and friends, musical projects to supervise—
and sometimes managing a blog seems so damn unrelentingly pointless and unrewarding…

But I’m a greedy, selfish blog-reader-foodie, and I want more of your witty insights, baseball analogies and frank, no-nonsense cooking advice delivered in a stylish but conversational manner!

Y’know, if you don’t have any time to sit and type up a missive, maybe just scribble some notes on a cocktail napkin, scan it in, and publish the jpeg in Mario Batali Voice

For some reason, I think you’re a fan of horror movies, so in addition to it being the Spooky Halloween Season, that is another reason for me to post an eclectic group of one-sheets (in almost alphabetically order it seems; hmmm....how'd that happen?) promoting [cue movie announcer voice:] the frightening, horrifying and disturbing!
(However, if you’d rather have a posting of cute kittens, I’ll do it—just let me know…It’s the only kind of bribe I can afford, but it’s still a bribe!)

Thanks for “listening,” enjoy the movie posters, get back to the kitchen, and please make sure to visit my other site LERNER INTERNATIONAL for further observations and explorations of the Cinema of Weirdness*.
Have a Happy Halloween,

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Witches & Sorceresses: Give Up, Son; You Can’t Win (Part One)

And as you’re enjoying our Halloween-time collection of dangerous damsels, you’d best make sure to check out—heck, bookmark and then follow LERNER INTERNATIONAL!
It’s serious thoughts about the Cinema of Weirdness and the cross-currents of the alternate universe of your movie dreams—

Now you can go enjoy the terrific temptresses….

Destination: NIGHTMARE!!!—Part One (Bad Dreams For Everyone!)

Halloween: It’s All About the Masks (Part One)

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Scream & Scream Again—Part One

I don’t know about you but I’m so glad ARBOGAST has returned—if only for one month.
Just follow the link!
Mr. Arbogast’s “31 Screams of October” is much more comprehensive and insightful than my collage of images—but then again, the two of us are aiming at different things.

Go to Arbogast’s blog for his reasons, but me? I like a torrent of pix forcing themselves on a brain, creating signifiers or connecters that weren’t there before.
Or else they’re just cool to look at….

Monday, October 22, 2012

Monsters & Devils: Part One

The United Provinces of Ivanlandia has begun the All Hallows Eve celebrations early, by releasing the ghouls, beasties and haints that have been lurking in the catacombs!

For the next few days, the Ivanlandia Art Department will be clocking in overtime as they collect, collate and post various horror-supernatural visuals.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

What Has Two Thumbs and Watches the “Watchmen”? THIS Guy!

You see that patch above?
It was a tiny detailed for a movie overloaded with style—I don’t think you even see the patch during the course of the film.
If you loved me, you’d get me that patch!

If that’s not possible, then get Last Exit to Nowhere to make a T-shirt of it—I’d buy it in a frickin’ New York minute!

This collection of images related to both the film and comic book Watchmen is presented as a sort of tag-along to LERNER INTERNATIONAL’s recent review of Marvel’s The Avengers.

Mermaids to the Rescue!