They All Have Such Beautiful Faces

Your pretty face is going to…check out LERNER INTERNATIONAL!

Although I should apologize for not posting more, like I should: the job hunt and freelance gigs to try and get some bread have been keeping me busy—tension and stress levels are through the roof!

Which is why we sometimes need to look at beautiful and fascinating faces…

Merry Christmas! Yeah, Sure. It’s a Blast.

Dunno ’bout you, but The High Command here at The United Provinces of Ivanlandia doesn’t like Xmas, or any of the rest of the Holiday Season.

Too many crappy things happen.

It’s a time that feels more haunted and forlorn than Halloween.

This year, we got the Secret Police to cancel the High Command’s visit to the Royal Palace, but the Brain in a Jar had a meltdown and dinner feels like lead in your guts and everything sucks and it seems like all your efforts are for naught.

I cannot wait till it’s over, that’s all.

Zexy Zuperheroz 4 Dezember Z01Z!

No words are necessary, besides, “Follow LERNER INTERNATIONAL now!” right?

Of course not.

Just some nice illustrations to look at, that's all…

Warrren, Clint & Various Monstrous and/or Sexy Pals—for December!!!

Just an excuse to run photos as a promotion for the publications of “MY ANSWERS” over at our more brainiac little brother LERNER INTERNATIONAL!

Don’t know what that means?

Don’t know why there are references to Warren Oates or Clint Eastwood?

Don’t know where you can find some of the best commentary on movies that makes you more individualistic?

Then you simply must follow that link above—if not before, then certainly after checking out the pix below!

"What the?!?" Pre-Thanksgiving Dreams of a Rarebit Fiend

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Vulgar! Vulgar! Vulgar!

Vulgar! Vulgar! Vulgar!

…and never enough damn time…

Scream & Scream Again—Party Two: Post-Halloween/Pre-Election Day Shrieks!!!

Just because Halloween is over, it doesn’t mean the nightmare ever ends…. 

ATTENTION, FOLLOWERS & READERS—TAKE THE TEST!!! (One of Ghidrah’s Three Heads Commands You!)

Greetings Friends, Followers and Regular Readers of

The United Provinces of Ivanlandia!

My film-centered blog LERNER INTERNATIONAL, and Ivanlandia’s younger fraternal site, has posted its first “Film Test,”

the “Favorite That’s Not” Quiz—in other words, “your favorite film that’s not ____.”

Only 21 questions, very genre-centric and lots of fun!

(Illustrated with your favorite kaiju B-listers! Just like here! That’s Ghidrah saying “Hi” above!)

Please participate! It’s only a hyperlink away!

Looking forward to your answers!

Thank You!

Ivan of Ivanlandia

[More Japanese “man in monster suit” second-stringers below: Enjoy!]

It Means Something, When Looked at Correctly...

Howdy Pardners!
Some madness-imagery to keep you happy; for more... intellectual stimulation, why not drop by at
LERNER INTERNATIONAL, always cultivating interests in The Cinema of Weirdness.
Been writing up a storm over there: 
Got looks at potential Outer Limits episodes;
Tyrone Power as a sea captain worthy of Ahab and Quint; 
and more! 
Enjoy the pix!

Ernest Borgnine Will NEVER Die! Long Live the Borgnine!

The Sexy Replicants Return, and say, "Follow LERNER INTERNATIONAL!"

Yep, I'm attempting to increase the traffic over to my other, more review-oriented site, LERNER INTERNATIONAL.
Increase the traffic via SEX.
(If it works for Madison Avenue, why not me?)

Once again, please visit, comment at, even "follow" LERNER INTERNATIONAL, where it's all about the writing!
Which means that The United Provinces of Ivanlandia is all about the visuals.
Speaking of which, ENJOY!

The “I”’s Have It! {An Exquisite Corpse of Subtitles and an excuse to promote LERNER INTERNATIONAL!}

Before we roll on with today’s Exquisite Corpse,

a very “I”-centric one—can anyone guess why I’ve included this pic of McGoohan in his most famous role, and why this scene from this episode? And why is it included as part of the introduction to this Exquisite Corpse (more accurately a collage, but I’m taking poetic license)?

A special prize of a DVD to the first correct response! (Haven’t figured out the DVD yet, we’ll discuss later…)—

And now…

The National Film Board of Ivanlandia would like to refer you all to

LERNER INTERNATIONAL,

our new review-centric brother site—which has tackled, among so many other things:

Prometheus (Dr. Shaw is the villain!),

looked back at Sam Peckinpah’s The Killer Elite (focusing on Burt Young, the shlub assassin with the soul of a poet) and pointed out the links between Ingmar Bergman’s Hour of the Wolf and Kubrick’s The Shining—and much, much more!

Currently LERNER INTERNATIONAL—go ahead and click the link, you know you want to; first one’s free, you won’t get hooked—is celebrating Sci-Fi June, looking at the films that intersect in the Venn Diagram of science fiction and The Cinema of Weirdness!

Martin Amis’ only script was a flop then and still DVD-MIA, but time has been kind to it; and it deserves another look;

Rollerball: the missed opportunities;

Monster Zero (constraints from genre mash-ups force the aliens to act stupid); and more!

With even more on the way!

For the future,

LERNER INTERNATIONAL will be conducting on-going explorations into that uncharted region we call The Cinema of Weirdness—

There’s plenty of ground to cover—your eyes and opinions would be useful!

On the drawing board are: Otto Preminger’s underrated proto-magical realism about feminist empowerment (Such Good Friends; 1971); Robert Ryan in the ultimate Man Against Nature Fight For Survival—originally in 3-D (Inferno; 1953); and “What If Jaws Was Directed By Alfred Hitchcock?”

(part of the “Best Hitchcock Movies (That Hitchcock Never Made)” blogathon run by the wonderful sites Classic Becky’s Brain Food and Tales of the Easily Distracted).

Don’t get left behind! Stay tuned!

LERNER INTERNATIONAL is a GO!

Okay, are you guys ready?